


The Moment

by EntreNous



Series: Snarry Snippets [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-24
Updated: 2011-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-24 01:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2562296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EntreNous/pseuds/EntreNous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone wants Harry and Snape to live happily ever after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Moment

"When did you _really know_ Severus Snape was the only man you could ever love?"

"Er." Harry shifted where he sat in the refurbished parlor at Spinner's End. He stared blankly down at the spot on the chaise between himself and Snape, where Snape's larger hand rested atop his own. "I suppose --"

"When you stood beside him at the Ministry, both of you so dashing as you accepted your Orders of Merlin?"

"Well--"

"Or perhaps when you rescued Professor Snape after defeating Voldemort, finding the wizard who had watched over you for so long alive and gazing longingly back into your effervescent green eyes?"

"Effervescent?" Snape inquired in a hostile tone. Harry squeezed his hand sharply, partly to shut him up and partly to keep him from drawing his wand.

Valentina Cupido, the junior society reporter for _The Prophet_ seated in the squashy chair across from them, appeared not to notice. Instead she leaned forward eagerly, stabbing her quill against her parchment. "Or did you feel the connection in your heart of hearts long before that, when you first learned your Severus had protected you from Professor Quirrell?"

Harry choked. "You mean when I was _eleven_?" He looked to Snape for aid, but found the man next to him looked aghast at the insinuation they'd been in love since Harry was a first-year.

"Love knows no laws or bounds," Valentina said in a trembling voice, quoting the latest song lyric from Celestina Warbeck. Despite appearing overcome by emotion, her eyes were sharp as they darted from Snape to Harry.

Wearing an outraged expression, Snape managed to rise halfway from the chaise, even though Harry clutched desperately at his arm and even threw a leg over Snape's thigh to halt him.

"Look, Miss Cupido, could you give us a moment?" Harry pleaded.

Snape glared at him, and in trying to dislodge Harry, slid his hand tightly up Harry's thigh.

"I can see you need one," the witch answered with a titter and a conspiratorial wink. She swept out of the room in a cloud of overpowering perfume and lurid pink robes. They could hear her sentimental sighs from the kitchen beyond.

"I will not stand for another moment of this farce," Snape hissed. Instead of straightening himself and moving away from Harry, he only gripped Harry's leg tighter and seized Harry's arm closer for good measure so that his low voice might be heard. "I fail to see how granting this interview helps your investigation."

"You promised the Minister you would," Harry shot back in a whisper, nearly pulled against the column of Snape's neck by their positioning. Oddly, the urge to bite Snape's ear in retaliation for his petty irritations suddenly swelled in him. He placated himself with a warning tug to Snape's waistcoat.

"To pose as your romantic partner to save you from harm, yes, to that I agreed. But to submit to these insipid and increasingly tawdry insinuations about our entwined destinies is far beyond what I offered."

"You know why it's important!" Harry barely managed to keep his exasperated words in an undertone. "Once we learned every Auror recently attacked with those mysterious crippling hexes was single, and after we got that coded message claiming I would be next --"

"This unknown perpetrator's wish for all Aurors to live happily ever after with their true loves or suffer heinous consequences continues to boggle my mind," Snape muttered.

Harry shoved Snape to keep him focused on the topic; Snape yanked harder in response, so that Harry nearly ended up seated on Severus's lap.

"We all agreed," Harry panted quietly, mindful of their interested interlocutor waiting nearby. "This is the only way to get the message out, to have _The Prophet_ print I'm not single. Once I'm effectively removed as a target, it leaves me free to figure out who's behind the attacks!"

"Lying about love is a terrible thing, Auror Potter," a sweet voice scolded suddenly. Valentina Cupido stood at the threshold, her stubby wand trained on them both.

"Fucking hell," Harry swore, trying to untangle himself from Snape and retrieve his wand.

"You stupid chit!" Snape wrapped an arm around Harry's middle and shunted him off to the side and out of range. His free hand already brandished his wand at their would-be attacker.

"How dare you try to deceive me," she huffed. Valentina aimed at Harry, but Snape countered, blocking her. There was an explosion behind her, and the chaise was afire. "I wouldn't have bothered hexing the others to send my message had I known what terrible tricks you would play!" she wailed in frustration.

"You've committed these harms solely to capture Potter's attention?" Snape demanded.

"Of course I did! How else could he see how he was hurting all of us, every one in the wizarding world, by turning his back on true love?" Her eyes blazed with passion, but her wand faltered as she clasped her hands in front of her heart.

" _Expelliarmus_ ," Harry bellowed, finally grasping his wand while at the very same moment Snape intoned, " _Incarcerous_!" They heaved onto their feet with their actions, watching as Valentina Cupido fell to the ground bound in ropes, her wand now safe in Harry's hand.

Thirty minutes later, the junior society reporter from _The Prophet_ was in Auror custody, the chaise was blackened with ash, and Snape and Harry sat side-by-side on the floor with a bottle of Firewhiskey.

"Suppose I should head in. Question her." Harry took a swig from the bottle.

"The Minister said you needn't tonight." Snape grabbed the bottle back.

"Yeah." Harry snickered.

"What, Potter?"

"Effervescent eyes."

"A most unfortunate turn of phrase."

"Like I'm hurting anyone by 'turning my back on true love.'"

There was a pause. "Indeed."

Harry glanced at Snape to find himself the object of the other man's intense scrutiny. "Because I wouldn't do that. Turn my back."

Snape's eyes narrowed. He handed the bottle back to Harry.


End file.
